WHAT PARENTS AND STUDENTS
CAN DO TO REDUCE THE RISKS
B
y
TAMI PRICHARD
Why the Increase?
A number of theories have been offered to explain the rising
incidence of college student anxiety and depression. High
parental expectations; overprotected, highly regulated,
entitled children; cellphones; and the much-discussed "he-
licopter parent" are all mentioned by experts as having an
influence on the resiliency of college students.
Millennials, the current generation of traditional college stu-
dents, are the most protected offspring in history. As children
these students were transported in sturdy car seats, fed
highly inspected baby food, and vaccinated regularly. Child-
centered parenting has produced very close families, but at
a cost. "What happens is these kids become very compliant
and exceedingly passive," said Hara Estroff Marano, author
of A Nation of Wimps: The High Cost of Invasive Parenting.
"They want answers, they want certainties and have parents
who have smoothed out the bumps and lumps for them from
a very early age. We weren't brought up the same way. We
were allowed to stumble."
For 18 years parents have protected, supported, organized,
regulated, directed, coached, and coddled their offspring.
This parental investment doesn't end when their children
head off to college. Cellphones make it easy to keep the
technological umbilical cord connected. College administra-
tors report increasing incidences of parents who call to wake
up their college student each morning, fly in to do laundry,
and contact professors to protest grades.
Parents are going to extremes to "whiskbroom" the bumps
ahead for their children. The result can be college students
who fall apart when hitting their first challenges. Instead of
taking the time to problem-solve an issue or contact uni-
versity resources for assistance, students immediately pick
up their cellphones and enlist mom and dad for help. When
students don't have experience in meeting and overcom-
ing challenges, they believe they are incapable of solving
problems on their own and resist even the smallest amount
of discomfort. Anxiety and depression can develop when the
pressures of college life overwhelm students.
What Can Be Done?
What can parents do now to help their college-bound student
prepare for the challenges ahead? Obviously, not all of
today's parenting is negative. Indeed, many studies indi-
cate that parental involvement and higher expectations are
credited with increased student success. Reading to their
children, attending parents' meetings at school, and put-
ting high values on the importance of education are all solid
strategies that parents can use to support their children's
academic success. The challenge for parents today is two-
fold. If they focus too much on creating opportunities for their
child's success, they are called helicopter parents. If they pull
back, they run the risk of being judged as poor caregivers.
Effective parenting strategies that address this paradox are
ones that help children become more resilient and better risk
takers. The ability to cope with everyday challenges reduces
a student's risk for anxiety and depression.
College, it appears, is where the lack of a student's resiliency
takes the greatest toll. Without the adult-regulated environ-
ment they were previously experiencing, students must now
navigate intellectual and social pursuits on their own. "No
one made me go to class," recalls a recently suspended
college freshman. "The professors didn't take attendance...
I didn't think I had to go." In order to fit in and cope with the
pressures, college students increasingly turn to binge drink-
ing and substance abuse. Students claim that much of col-
lege social life is focused on alcohol consumption because
it is considered by students to be an anxiety reducer and
demands no social skills; it lets peers know that the student
wants to join the group and make connections.
Parents can assist their college-bound high school students
by relaxing the pressure for perfection. Rewarding effort
instead of grades on a report card can plant the seeds of
competency in students. Later, when confronted with difficult
college material, students can remind themselves that while
they may not know the subject matter, with hard work, it can
be understood and learned.
A Publication of Christian Schools International
|
Spring 2014
21