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Christian Home & School
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High School Ed.
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www.csionline.org
EXTRAS
Book Reviews
Critical Connection: A Practical Guide to Parenting Young Teens by Andy Kerckhoff. White Orchard Press,
2013. 236 pp. $14.99.
Reviewed by Bill Boerman-Cornell
I'll confess that I'm a curmudgeon about parenting books. They tend to either be overly confident
and simplistic about a subject that seems to me to be remarkably complicated, or they're filled with
generalizations that just don't seem to fit my kids or my family. So when I started reading Kerckhoff's
book, I wasn't expecting to like it. But the fact is, he won me over.
This book contains good, specific advice that will be helpful for parents. Not every suggestion ap-
plies to every family, but I found myself feeling affirmed by the suggestions that are already part of
our family life and intrigued by the possibilities he was suggesting.
Kerckhoff, who is a middle school teacher, emphasizes staying connected to your teen. He emphasizes pick-
ing your battles and opting to show love sometimes over disappointment and anger. He speaks of discipline,
resilience, socialization, downplaying the importance of physical appearance, not letting digital devices preempt
your time as a family, sports, work, and spending time outdoors. The principles he is developing are biblically
grounded, but he does not belabor the point.
When I originally picked up the book, I thought I would be reading the voice of a self-proclaimed pompous par-
enting expert. That isn't what this book is. It's more like spending time with an older couple from your church or
an older sibling you admire and talking about the struggles of raising a teen and the ideas that might make it go
better. It might make a good thirteenth birthday present--for a teen's parents.
Tough Guys and Drama Queens: How Not to Get Blindsided by Your Child's Teen Years by Mark Gregston.
Thomas Nelson, 2012. 240 pp. $15.99.
Reviewed by Michelle Cornell
Today's culture is hard on teens. There is too much of everything, from information to texting to
video games, and not enough relationship between teens and their true friends or teens and their
parents. Parenting styles of earlier decades are no longer effective, causing resentment, turmoil, and
stress in families. Gregston's hope is to keep parents from experiencing broken relationships with
their teens and to provide them guidelines to navigate the cultural influence on their kids. Gregston
explains the ways in which our culture affects teens, why they are under so much stress, and why
compliant kids suddenly become angry and defiant. He suggests that parents choose their battles,
stay in relationship, ask questions, and stop correcting and start connecting, along with other strategies to pre-
vent their teens from rebelling. Gregston is the founder of a teen counseling center, an author and speaker, and
lives with teens year round. His perspective and insight help parents in their journey of raising teens in a tough
society.
Teenology: The Art of Raising Great Teenagers by Jim Burns. Bethany House Publishers, 2010. 224 pp. $14.99.
Reviewed by Michelle Connell
Today's teenagers have so much to deal with and arguably more stress than any previous gen-
eration. The culture changes rapidly, exposing kids to everything from media choices to constant
temptation. The speed of life is also faster than ever before, and the bombardment from noise and
information overload is overwhelming. Throw in single parenting, school violence, and even the
increase of traumatic weather, and teens and their parents are struggling. Burns gives great advice
on many topics to help parents navigate these road bumps. He encourages parents to stay strong in
their marriages, to converse often about spiritual issues, and to understand their children's levels of
faith. He discusses homework, drugs and alcohol, driving, cellphones, and media, among other top-
ics. An appendix and examples of contracts are at the end of the book. Parents of today's teens need all the help
and encouragement they can get, and this book certainly offers those things. Burns has three grown daughters
and has gone through the process of raising teenagers; his personal anecdotes are helpful in understanding this
phase of parenting.